Sometimes, out of nowhere, not really thinking of anything, a line, or, an image
pops in my mind. Fucked if I know where it comes from. It’s usually twisted,
usually sick, always disturbing.
More often than not, it appears when I am driving home from work. It takes me 40
minutes. The drive is usually on dark roads, and there is hardly any traffic. The
radio is on, but, I’m not listening. I have it on for the noise. Windows down, high
beams on, speed 60mph, zoned out from the familiarity, bored…
Some dark matter enters my brain. I’m not consciously thinking of anything, I’m not
thinking to be honest. It’s the same drive every night. The same fucking drive. That
sameness will be the death of me one of these days when I’ll notice a deer
crossing the road a few seconds too late.
Anyway, something dark, and disturbing enters my noggin.
Like this, for example.
“Sally! Would you please, puhleezz stop playing with Granddad’s penis!”
“But, Mom, I like flopping it around, and I think he likes it, I really do.”
“How would you know, he’s in a fucking coma for chrissakes!”
“Well,look, he’s growing…’
Suddenly, the woman gets up off the chair by the bed, stands over her Father, who’s
laying so still it’s as if he’s practicing death, and slaps him hard in the face.
“You sick bastard!” she sobs.
I wish I knew where that comes from, so’s I could shut it off. Have something nice
materialize in me head, like fluffy bunnies, cute cuddly teddy bears, unicorns,
double rainbows, grumpy cats playing the piano while an adorable mutt chases its
tail, as a beautiful baby coos and claps its hands in sheer delight…
Or…maybe not..all that stuff would make me puke.
“Daddy! Daddy, wake up! Daddy!”
“Uh, huh? Um, what time is it? Christ, my head. What is it, son?”
“My butt hurts, Daddy. It really hurts!”
“Aw, Jesus, sorry son, I was drunk. Wrong room.”
See what I mean?