Hungry Horace ate Keyhole Kate’s face, with a side of roast potatoes, wonderful Yorkshire pud, and a heaping helping of Rodger’s blood sausage. Rodger was behind Horace, tied to a chair, eyes glazed as blood oozed from the slit in his neck ( Dodge outta that one, boy! Har Har!)

Elsewhere, Peter Piper checked the handcuffs, rope, and chloroform, and then began to play his pipes in front of a BeyoncĂ© poster, Sid’s face was purple, tongue black, eyes almost popping from their sockets, because he forgot the rudimentary procedure when feeding his snake, Faceache was a shoo-in to win Britain’s Got Talent, and he was getting emails from numerous horror movie makers like Dario Argento, and John Carpenter, Oddball was forced to make money by advertising himself as the Ultimate Dildo, Little Mo was tasting cock for the first time, Desert Island Dick finally saw a ship passing by and swam out to meet it, only to be disemboweled and devoured by Hook-Jaw, Judge Dredd blew Bully Beef away for obvious reasons, Chips, despondent, hanged himself from a lamppost on the corner of Bash Street, Ginger stole Vals Vanishing Cream and watched Beryl taking a bath, the knife in his hand sharp and gleaming, Shiner lay crumpled in a heap by a gutter, pulverized by Pansy Potter after making comments about her sexual orientation, and Billy Whizz proved once and for all on YouTube that he was faster than The Flash.

All this happened because some kids were exploring and came upon the flayed skin of a god, and one of them decided to don it.

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