A Man Is Interviewed On The Street about the Lottery

“Excuse me, sir? I’d like to ask you a few questions?”
“Yes? What about?”
” Do you play the lottery?”
“Yes, play them all. Big Mega Millions jackpot tonight!”
“Well, we’re interviewing people on the street to ask what they would do if they won the $95 million dollar jackpot”
“Man, if I won that, I’d pay off all my bills. My family and friends would be debt free. I’d Take a vacation somewhere nice and warm, with a beautiful beach, and a deep blue sea. I also order a ton of Extenze.”
“Excuse me?”
” Well, I’m sure you’ve seen the commercials? Natural Male enhancement? I’ll last longer, perform better?”
“Yeeesssss-“
” Well, have you seen the price of it? Way beyond my budget. So, what I did was, I ordered something more along the line of generic, online. I think it originated in one of the Slovak countries, but, the batch I got probably came via Chernobyl.”
“I don’t understand.”
” It had the opposite effect. It’s bloody embarrassing to tell the truth, but, did you ever see those old school films showing the School nurse going through a child’s hair with a fine tooth comb? That’s what it was like on date night. She’d be combing through me pubic hair asking am I gettin’ any closer, hon? and I’d be like you’re not even close, Honey Dew, may as well give it up and get that thing out of your bedside drawer. I just put new batteries in it.”
“Honey Dew?”
“Wha-oh, that’s my pet name for my wife. It’s the second one actually cos she didn’t like the first one.”
“What was the first one?”
“Cunt.”

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